Our Mind is Messy, Isn't It?

It's funny how our mind's play with us.  

I woke up feeling ready for my three day fast.  It's a cleanse where I'm supposed to enjoy the quiet and stillness of the mind.  

It's also Thanksgiving Weekend.  How often did I think today....  Fuck It ....I'm never going to quit drinking forever..... I'm just going to hang with some buddies and drink and laugh and be merry....and not be alone....just like the rest of the world!

I cried.

I cried because I feel like I'm missing out on having fun with people.  I'm lonely.  Who the hell stays alone on Thanksgiving weekend to fast for 3 days and not drink!  I miss my kids too.   They should be with me and not that friggen asshole that thinks the world revolves around him. ... oops...

Then, something happened to me....

I heard the sound of a Blue Jay.  Now, these birds are extremely, extremely spiritual to me.  If you read my old blog, I should have a post telling you why....it was a story about when I hit rock bottom and these 3 Bluejays landed on my deck....kinda like my 3 kids telling me....you'll be okay mommy....  I will try to find the post and link it here somehow.    Anyhow, I stood up from the sofa and low and behold, the bird was in my front yard, creating his beautiful sounds.  Now if that wasn't God talking to me.....

I got off the couch and realized that I'm good.  I'm really good actually.  I love my body, soul and mind too much to give in to indulging into alcohol like I use to....

I put in a nice long run today....10KM ...and at one point I thought I was floating on water.  I looked over at my shadow and felt a presence running with me.   It was one of the most amazing run I have ever had.

If you'd like to read my journey on my 3 Days to Vitality Cleanse, click on this link....http://3days2vitality.blogspot.ca

Enjoy your evening!
Jen
Day 58