I'm wondering what you expert sober blogging buddies did when you first quit drinking. Did you isolate yourself from your drinking buddies? What do you do when you are expected to drink cause that's just who you are? What do you do when you want to drink with them because you know you will have so much more fun?!
I decided not to go out on the date Friday. I stayed in and had a quiet night! It was nice. Got to run an early morning 10 K!
But Saturday, my friends showed up at my door with bottles of wine and pizza. They know I've been going through a little depression and have been isolating myself so I caved! I drank with them and we laughed and drank and ate pizza! I don't really feel guilty because its just who I am. I'm expected to be the life of the party...and honestly, I like it! I do feel like a bloated piece of poop though. I've worked so hard on my health and getting at my goal weight and it pisses me off that this one night put me up a few pounds! It's so stupid!
I'm tired!
I was upfront and honest with everyone who might stop by and bring the party to me. For everyone else, I said I was on a diet.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest I did a lot of cocooning in the early days of my sobriety. Just staying home, away from temptation and away from trouble. I wasn't strong enough then to say no.
You'll do what's right for you and no one else. Just listen to your heart and you'll find your way.
Sherry
I am laying low right now.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend ask me the other night after a school play - if I wanted to go get a drink. I really surprised myself and said, "I would - but I am not drinking - coffee and desert sounds good!" She replied, "Did you give it up for Lent or really quit?" I said, "I don't know....Well, Yes I do - I quit drinking. It just doesn't feel good to me anymore and it's actually really nice. I was tired of the hangovers." She was cool and even agreed hangovers suck! We didn't get desert and I am not sure what she did. But, I went home and snuggled up with my kids and a movie and I felt good the next day. I was happy and it wasn't as hard as I thought :) Hope I am this strong next time.
I have no idea what I would do if the parade came to me...yikes! Jenny
Thank you so much for your honesty, i could totally relate! ! have to say that at the end of my drinking I already have pushed everyone away so there was no one coming to visit me! And for a long time I tried to sort of blend in with the normies and not drink, but I was tempted to easy. So when I finally decided that was it, I did have to stay away, I didn't even go to stores that sold alcohol, or watch tv with too many adds. and I too loved to drink and loved the way it made me feel, I mean otherwise it wouldn't be so hard to quit right? But at some point it it stopped being fun, it just quit working, I just drank cause I had too, I couldn't function without it. And life become miserable. So I often think of this as being on a diet, you probably wouldn't put bunch of cakes in your house and then started a no sugar diet right? Well it's sort of like that for me. Ps. I actually tested that theory once, I bought several bottles of wine and stuck them in my fridge to see how long they could just be there without me drinking them...I lasted a week. And just one more thing, now that I have been sober for a while I find that I am still the outgoing and fun social person that I used to be, yep, even without booze! - hang in, it gets better!
ReplyDeleteFor me, I had to just spend time focusing on my recovery. Everyone knew about me, as I had gone to detox then treatment for 21 days...so it was no surprise. Hence, I had no one swinging by with wine or other things. I had also been asked to leave my house, so I was living in a basement apt on my own. Like Sherry, I cocooned a lot at the beginning. I needed time to heal and to get better. I am in AA, so I was going to a lot of meetings, and that certainly helped me to stay connected to other sober people and gave me support. Not to say that I wasn't feeling tempted at times. But I was lucky to have people to call and to walk me through my wantings. I did a lot of journaling too, and walked a lot. I was basically changing how and why I did a lot of things. Any time that I had to myself was just eating tons of cookies (lol) and reading. I was just too tired to do anything else.
ReplyDeleteAs for the fun part...well, I didn't need much reminding at how bad things got for me. I guess that is a blessing, if you will. I knew that I couldn't go back...for me, it's life or death stuff. The fun had been squeezed out of drinking a long time ago. Drinking buddies need not apply when I was sober. By that time I had pushed them away too...too many years of secretive drinking will do that!
I really hope that you find your footing in this journey. It's not easy, but it's not supposed to be. Changing how we look at things, how we perceive and how we look at ourselves...not always a walk in the park. But the changes come and we see results...we see life can and does become much better without alcohol...no more guilt, shame, remorse, pain, hurt, lying, deception, hangovers, anger, resentment...these things start to disappear or dissolve over time.
I look forward to reading more of your blog. :)
Blessings,
Paul
(Sorry I am late to this post - just found it today)