Life is so stressful! Mine is right now. I feel like I'm drowning and there's no one there to save me. I don't know how to get control back. Kids are walking all over me. My ex is an ass. I'm broke because of Christmas. I'm lonely. I'm gaining weight because I find comfort in food and booze lately.
How do you snap out of this big ocean that just wants to swallow me?
The drink makes me not think for a while about all these stresses in my life. Nothing else can do that for me right now. Yesterday, I painted my daughters room and had a couple of beers, hidden in the garage (I won't drink in front of my kids) and I felt happy. But ...the reality is ...I"m still not happy.
Will I ever be ready to lead a sober life like some of you who made it past 100 days? I want to be able to write that on my blog one day.
How? I don't feel strong enough to fight anymore. I'm getting old and I'm very tired.
Winters are long and depressing eh?
I remember wondering how I would ever find happiness let alone cope without alcohol. That unknown is so scary in the early days, but those with 100+ days would probably all say it gets easier. The longer I fought the fight, the easier it got. It is a hard leap to make and harder to stay the course early on, but you know what we all knew/know deep down: we are so worth it.
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