Today's Daily Reflections talks about loneliness.  Something caught my eye in the read and I thought I'd share it with you.  

Our staff had many parties in the past, almost once a month.  At least 10 - 20 people would attend these parties, until the drunks started getting wild and crazy, including me.  After a few months, staff parties began to occur every few months and included maybe 8-10.  People weren't coming to them anymore and it took me a while to figure out why.......

Last month's party only brought 7 around the table, including me, a drinker.   

The Reflection says:  Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured with loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong.

The thing that gets me here is that I blamed my Relapse on loneliness.  I thought I was lonely because I wasn't drinking and had no drinking buddies left.  I failed to see that I have a lot of other people in my life that I could call and do things with...  I failed to see that people don't like to be around drunks.  This is what I realized that night ...people don't want to be around me when I'm drunk.    One sober lady was totally disgusted in me because I kept farting loudly....not caring that it was rude and annoying and stinky.  If I was sober, this wouldn't have happened.  I'm embarrassed when I see this person at work now.   

I, myself, was annoyed by my drunk buddy.  She was extremely negative that night..... She's always negative, come to think of it....I'm not sure why I didn't see it before.   I don't like to be around negative people and here I am drinking with my buddy who bashes everyone and everything in sight.  

I'm not alone in this world.  Today, I can actually say that it's the solitude that I enjoy now....  I have 3 beautiful children, 4 beautiful sisters, a mom and a dad and great friends and God.  I just need to surround myself with that on a daily basis!


"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.  Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."