Anyhow, I looked at my past blog to see where I left off in the book. I was at Chapter 5 when I lost focus. The final paragraph of my post read:
Life is full of people. We must find people in our lives that are positive and able to bring out the best in us! The sober us!
I ran my half marathon this weekend. It was the most amazing experience of my life! Out of 10 000 people, I placed 3 500th. I finished in 2:00 on the dot! I will continue to run and participate in races. It keeps me focused on my health. If you think...wow...I could never do that....you are wrong! If I can do it, you can! Trust me! You have it in YOU (mind, body, spirit) to do anything you want to do for yourself!
I love how I wrote this post and forgot to take my own advice along the way somewhere. You have it in YOU, Jen (body, mind, spirit) to do anything you want to do for yourself!
I am empowered. I'm feeling empowered. I'm feeling healthy, sober and happy. I love my meditation class. It's on Wednesday again and I can't wait. It's all about the power of the mind, body and spirit. Isn't ironic that I would read about that in a post that I wrote in October 2012?
I'm going to go back and read through my old posts to see what I wrote about in chapters 1-4 now. I am so dang forgetful......
Wow! ..I just read a post, dated October 11th, 2012. All I want to say today is in this post, except for one sentence!
Acceptance
My last post talked about the allergies our bodies have to certain things. For a long time, I struggled with my drinking. I knew it made me sick quite often and I knew it made me do things I wouldn't normally do. I also felt like I lived in a "fog" for most of my adult life, not really living it entirely and Fully Alive. It was like there was a hazy cloud around me, preventing me to see the beauty and gifts in my life. For the most part, I thought this was a normal way of living.
Being sober and accepting the fact that booze makes me sick...I see life in a whole different way. I've come to accept that my body cannot take booze like it use to or like others can. I've discovered so much about how a normal life should be lived. I am blessed to have discovered this now instead of later or when it would have been too late. I still have many beautiful years ahead of me!
"Who has time to feel deprived or self-pitying when you find there are so many delights connected with living happily unafraid of your illness?" (Sober Living)
When I first decided to get my shit together and quit drinking, I did feel sorry for myself and often thought "Do I really want to do this for the rest of my life?" I didn't want to accept that I had a disease or that I couldn't control myself when I drank. There's still a little part of me that thinks I can control it....that will probably always be there. But the bigger part of me that has accepted my fate as a person who gets sick with booze, has grown big time and knows which path she want her life to go through....the healthy one.
Anyone who wants it is welcome to a "free trial period" of this new concept of self. Afterward, anyone who wants the old days again is perfectly free to start them all over. It is your right to take back your misery if you want it. (Sober Living)
This statement is amazing! The new self! It's worth living for!
I'm heading out to the big city of Toronto Canada for the weekend. I won't have much time to blog because I'm preparing for my half-marathon. I won't have time to think about booze either.
I'll be living and living life to the fullest!
God Bless!
That was a pretty good post from someone who thought she had her shit together. Why would she start drinking again when it made her miserable, unhealthy, sleepless, bloated, guilty, sad....? Why did she take back her misery?
Why do we relapse? My longest sober period was about 52 days. Reading my past blog tells me that I felt great and liked being sober. Just like now. I feel great and like being sober. So why did I go back to my old ways of drinking? Why does anyone go back when they've been sober for a certain period of time?
There is a great article I stumbled upon called "Understanding Relapse"
It mentions that most relapses occur when a woman doubts that she is an alcoholic. I must say, this is true in my case. I convinced myself that I could drink socially and remain in control with a glass of wine in my hand. I was determined not to overdue it or get drunk where I was stumbling or blacking out. I told myself that I wouldn't hide booze from people and drink by myself anymore. I was certain that I wasn't a "true" alcoholic. But I was wrong. I still don't always think I'm a hard core alcoholic. But, I do know that I'm tired of thinking about it and how it is ruining my health and zest for life! I don't want it anymore.
I am on day 13 today! I am ready to commit to Belle and her 100 day challenge. I'm ready to give myself, my body and my family the gift of a sober me.
God Bless!
There is a great article I stumbled upon called "Understanding Relapse"
It mentions that most relapses occur when a woman doubts that she is an alcoholic. I must say, this is true in my case. I convinced myself that I could drink socially and remain in control with a glass of wine in my hand. I was determined not to overdue it or get drunk where I was stumbling or blacking out. I told myself that I wouldn't hide booze from people and drink by myself anymore. I was certain that I wasn't a "true" alcoholic. But I was wrong. I still don't always think I'm a hard core alcoholic. But, I do know that I'm tired of thinking about it and how it is ruining my health and zest for life! I don't want it anymore.
I am on day 13 today! I am ready to commit to Belle and her 100 day challenge. I'm ready to give myself, my body and my family the gift of a sober me.
God Bless!
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