Who Am I Now?

I've been alone all weekend.   I caught up on some work and got to check off a lot of things from my To-Do list.    I even did some personal reading and re-arranged my furniture downstairs to create a little zen room for some quiet time.....to hopefully begin meditating on a regular basis....

I've also been doing a lot of soul searching....  I started reading a book called....

....which I discovered at my workshop last week.  The guest speaker referred to this book often.  It was ironic because I had just read a post about types of personality, extrovert or introvert.   

I took an online test called "Are you an introvert or extrovert test" at http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/quiet-quiz-are-you-an-introvert/   

The first time I took it, this was my score:

Your personality profile: I/E.      (I = Introvert. E = Extrovert)

E/I = Ambivert.    If you answered the questions evenly, true and false, you're probably an ambivert - meaning that you fall smack in the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. In many ways, ambiverts have the best of both worlds, able to tap into either pole as needed.

The second time I took it, this was my score:

Your personality profile: I.        

I = Introvert. If you answered the majority of the questions true, you're probably an introvert.  Given the choice, you'll devote your social energy to the people you care about most, preferring a glass of wine with a close friend to a party full of strangers. You think before you speak, and relish solitude. You feel energized when focusing deeply on a subject or activity that really interests you. You have an active inner life, and are at your best when you tap into its riches.

So.....I asked random contacts, friends, family what type personality would best describe me and here are the responses I got.....

Son

Sister

       

Drinking Buddy

Sister

Neighbour

Friend

Sister

According to the test, I'm closer to being an introvert..... 
According to most of my contacts, I'm closer to being an extrovert.....

Now, this topic is very important to someone like me because all my life I have been a very extroverted person.   I know that alcohol played a very important role in this type personality for me because of course, when I drank, I became a different person altogether....   The people in my life think of me as an extrovert because I was haywire half the time....a different person....a social butterfly, crazy, loud, annoying, not afraid to speak my mind...  

I really don't think that this is who I am....anymore......or who I want to be......

I like ME time.... I like to read... I like to think in my head and make my own decisions......I like quiet time....I need my mind to be clear from noise .... 

Being extrovert.....the social butterfly is tiring.....

Susan Cain writes..... The single most important aspect of personality is where we fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum.  We're told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable.  We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts-which means that we've lost sight of who we really are.

Wow!  What a great discovery of who I am..... or who I want to be.....

I'm tired of the pressure of being the extroverted person at the table.  I'm tired of society telling me that I'm not normal or happy because I don't drink or want to be the life of the party anymore.  I'm tired of the noises, the thinking, the booze.....

It is time for me to tune into my inner world and discover the treasures that can be found there.  It's time for quiet time.....without the guilt of wanting it....

I can't wait to continue reading this book .....

Sober Jen
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