That demon was with me in the car too....trying to talk to me.....trying to convince me that I was okay now and I should be able to handle just this one day with a little bottle of wine.
Boy! It was tough to fight him off, but I'm so grateful I did.
What triggered that? It took me a while to figure that one out.... It started when I ran in to a "dating" friend of mine...someone I dated a few times, but knew deep down that he wasn't for me. I ran into him, and the thoughts of us drinking red wine together entered my mind instantly. This is what we did the last time we were on a date. Loneliness set into my heart and mind and seeing him put crazy thoughts into my head like "....if I'm not drinking, I'll be single forever..." There are not too many single guys out there that are gonna be sober or want to be with someone who is sober. I know...I know...I'll meet someone one day....but I'm just saying, the good ones are few and far between....know what I mean?
I haven't been to a meeting in almost two weeks and I know that it's affecting my thought patterns. I also know that I have to take time for them but life sometimes gets too hectic and bammo...I forget to take care of me. I plan on doing a couple of meetings this weekend...I promise.
I've also promised myself to get out of this " I feel like shit stage...so much that I"m too lazy to get my ass in shape kinda thing"
I swear that I'm part bear. I want to eat...eat ...eat ...sleep ...sleep...sleep ....and friggen hibernate until the sun comes out again.
Oh! I love that little script thing on the bottom of my sidebar. It keeps track of my sober days for me! What a great tool to have. Now instead of counting days and having to keep track of them, the counter does it automatically. I can send you a copy of the link for this if you'd like it. :)
